Those of you who watched TV in the 1960’s will likely remember the scene in which some flunky held out his hand to Granny Clampett and said “what about a tip?” Granny wrinkled her very wrinkly brow and said “Plant yer corn early”. Poor Granny – she had no idea what a tip was.
In 1977 I had the great pleasure of driving my parents and my sister from PEI to Kingston, Ontario to attend the graduation ceremonies for my brother Terry at RMC. We stopped at a restaurant in Riviere du Loup. At the end of the meal my father took the bill (already he was into unfamiliar territory) and began counting out exact change. Mom, observing his careful attention to dimes and quarters reminded him “remember to leave a good tip”. To which my father replied “you know what that song says – “We may never pass this way again.” And he plunked down the exact amount for the bill and led us out of the restaurant. Unlike Granny, Dad knew what a tip was. He just wasn’t going to bow to social pressure to depart with money that he wasn’t actually obliged to give out.
In 1977, I’m pretty sure that a standard tip was ten percent. Somewhere in the 70’s or 80’s it grew to be fifteen percent. I didn’t like that at all. First of all, nobody asked me for my opinion on the matter. I didn’t get a vote. But suddenly my standard good guy tip became “you cheap bastard”. Somewhat reluctantly I fell in line. I’m fairly good at mental math, so I would sometimes calculate what rounding up to some even dollar amount would mean. If it meant the tip was 13%, not 15%, I felt a sneaky pleasure in filling in that nice round even amount and leaving the staff to figure out for themselves exactly how much the tip was. But eventually I came to accept that the 10% tip was part of the good old days, and 15% was here to stay.
How wrong I was! It turns out that 15% is the new 10% – it leaves you in “you cheap bastard” territory. And now, I find myself sympathizing with my father. What right do they have, those people who run restaurants and bars, to establish a price for a product and then deem me a cheap bastard if I don’t deliver significantly more than was indicated on the menu? I mean, it’s damned rare that I order a steak and they generously add a lobster. So why should they tell me 20 dollars for a Cesar salad but really expect 25 dollars? I used to think it was acceptable, even convenient, when the charge card payment system allowed you to add in a tip, and you could input a percentage. But now serve staff hand me a device which tells me that I could choose 17.5%, 20%, 22.5% or “other”. When you have to choose “other” and type in 15%, the little machine practically screams “cheap bastard” out loud.
I did a little online research and found that there are many countries where tipping isn’t customary, and even some where tipping is considered rude. I may move.
One article on tipping said “In some countries, like the US and Canada, it’s customary and expected that you tip the restaurant waiters 15% to 20% of the total bill before taxes. This has become the norm mainly because the wait staff in these countries don’t make a liveable wage and rely heavily on tips.”
You know what that argument does? It disconnects the tip from any notion that it’s a payment for exceptional quality service. It’s not. It’s now an expectation in all circumstances that we’ll make up for the restaurant owner’s miserly shortcomings. Oh, we might give a more generous tip to a very good server, but the default appears to be that you are expected to give 17.5% for lousy service and you can add on from there for anything that seems exceptionally good.
And by the way, why is it my job to give the restaurant owner’s employee a performance appraisal? Shouldn’t that be the owner/manager’s job? They should decide which employees are providing exceptional service and they should provide bonuses or incentive payments as they deem fit. That’s not my job!
Why is acceptable to us that the restaurant owner is allowed to pay an inadequate wage and we are expected to make up the difference? Why should we allow restaurant owners to disguise the real price of their product? Pay your staff what they deserve, and put the real cost of the meal on the menu. That way, when I order that item, the terms of the deal are clear and written in black and white – not some unspoken terms that I’m supposed to understand and accept. A wink’s as good as a nod to a blind horse, you know.
“Well no,” the restaurant owner says. “First of all, if I bill my steak at $40 and the next-door restaurant sells for $35, I won’t be able to compete.” Let me tell you something, dear owner. If you put a sign on your window or in your menu or both which said “We pay our staff well. Tips are not accepted here”, I would line up to be your first customer. And most of us are able to do the math and figure out whether your price is competitive or not.
“Wait, though”, she responds. “If I pay the staff their current wage plus a customary tip of 15%, then I have to show it on their T4’s and the staff still won’t get enough. I’d have to raise their wages by 20 or 25% so that they get enough to live on and pay their taxes too.” A valid argument, perhaps. But what that argument does is to legitimize the underground economy. We are being asked to accept that waiters and waitresses across the land are routinely cheating on their taxes. Not only are we being asked to accept it, we are being asked to be complicit in it by paying a portion of the cost of our meal under the table.
You know, if we paid the servers a decent living wage and they paid taxes, we might actually see some of that money coming back to us in reduced taxes. The underground economy is not a healthy thing, and I believe that it’s growing. And yes, I sometimes find myself doing things that don’t show on anybody’s profit and loss statement, so I’m not lily white and innocent. But really, it would be a good thing if we stamped out the underground economy, and eliminating tipping would be a good place to start.
One of my problems with tipping, quite apart from the fact that I’m apparently a cheap bastard, is that I don’t understand what the boundaries are. What are the rules of an economy where the listed price isn’t the real expectation? Am I expected to tip the person who cuts my hair? If I get a heavy appliance or a piece of furniture delivered, am I expected to provide a tip, and if so how much? I mean if someone delivers a $2000 appliance, a 15% tip would be $300. I don’t know about you, but I know I’m not tipping $300! So even if I thought the delivery was in some way outstanding, what would be the right size of tip? And that delivery service that was outstanding…. compared to what? Do any of us get deliveries often enough that we have a good picture of what outstanding looks like? How should I judge whether a tip is even warranted, much less how big it should be? And why am I seemingly expected to tip the barber or hair stylist, but not the guy who changes the oil in my car? Who gets a tip, and who doesn’t?
I’d really love to change the conversation about tipping from “you cheap bastard” to “why would you do that?” Get rid of hidden costs of tipping. Get rid of “customer shaming” behaviours. Get rid of the “entitled beggar” on the serving staff – the one who thinks that you owe him a tip no matter how lousy the service was. Tips…grrr! Plant yer corn early.
31 responses to “Plant Yer Corn Early”
I got some chuckles from this topic, for the past few years I’ve hired on to manage a sweet corn truck business, & to my surprise many of the folks I’d sell a doz corn to would throw in a tip, often quite generous.
The wage I earned was slightly over min wage but on many days my tips would amount to more than my days pay, so don’t kill my somewhat “golden “ goose
But I do agree the tip system is screwed up
I don’t blame you for collecting the tips. After all, one shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. I think the good thing is that you didn’t think badly of the people who simply paid what they were expected to pay.
Besides that, I’m not worried about you. I’m quite sure that you declare the extra income and paid the tax as required. I’m glad that you agree that the tipping system is a mess.
very excellent points Dennis, and you are putting in writing a discussion that is long overdue
Thanks for the comment Don. I think the tricky thing is to figure out how to change a culture as pervasive as the North American tipping culture.
Well done Dennis…maybe send this onto the main stream media for consideration..
As a cheap Scottish bastard by birth I have always pinched on the tip front unless the service is above standard. As eating out at restos is becoming prohibitively out of reach these days ido have some sympathy for servers and bar staff,but as the customer,I will continue to determine the tip value ( Other in most most cases!)
You shouldn’t label yourself a cheap Scottish bastard, Gord. I’m sure your parents were properly married.
I’m afraid that apart from little shit-disturbing articles like this, I can’t think of a practical way to change this culture. If I were premier, maybe I’d push a bill that sharply increased the minimum wage, but included a penalty (hefty fines!) for any service industry found to be permitting tipping of their staff. But I’m thinking that would take some great stick-handling.
for the past number of years I’ve worked a few weeks each autumn running a sweet corn sale truck, more for the social aspect than the limited monetary returns.,
I worked for slightly above minimum wage – 8 hour day- but to my surprise, the customers often left a generous tip when getting their doz. corn, so much so that end of day my tip take was better than my wage. I’ve had times where a customer would pay for an $8 doz with a 20, and say keep the change. first few times I objected saying you gave me a 20, but they would assure me they knew. so dont go killing my golden goose yet until I decide whether I’m working another season.
But for all this I agree with you, although it kills me to say so, the tip system is screwed up, employers should pay a living wage to hard working employees, & weed out those who do not perform to expectations, then we’d know going in what a good or service costs.
I agree that the inflation of the “tip percentage” is outrageous. Back in the day when a meal cost $20, a 10% tip was acceptable. Now that meal costs $40, why wouldn’t a 10% tip still be acceptable. Why did it go up to 15%, 20% or whatever?
But worse than this percentage inflation is the increase in the number of outlets who think they are owed a tip. If somebody takes 2 minutes to pour me a coffee and fire a donut into a bag, does that qualify for tipping? This is certainly a long way from the case of a waiter who spends 1-1/2 to 2 hours looking after you during a meal, offering suggestions, filling your wine glass, running for more ketchup, laughing at your sad Dad jokes, etc. If the tip is based on “service provided”, I’d say the donut slinger doesn’t qualify, while a good waiter earns his tip (assuming they do a good job). This may sound harsh, and I understand that the donut slinger may not get a very high wage, but I don’t think it’s my job as a Consumer to make life fair for everybody.
I agree that there’s a difference between a waiter and a doughnut slinger, but the solution is the same for both of them. Pay them what the job is worth and don’t expect the customer to make up the gap. Perhaps we need to sharply increase the minimum wage, and then pass a law that finds any business that excepts tipping.
After my recent trip to SE Asia, I have another perspective on tipping. It seems that tipping is now how we discharge our responsibility under the “White Man’s Burden” concept of post-colonialism. Clearly people in Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand don’t make the same kind of money that (most) Canadians do, so it is the duty of the tourist to ladle out tips to try to balance the scales. To a certain extent this is fine, but it starts to get tedious when trying to figure out what an “acceptable” tip is.
I hate the process of trying to figure out what an “acceptable tip” is. For god sakes, just put it on your menu. Here’s what it cost. If you want to add a separate service fee, be my guest. Just let me know right up front what the real expectation is.
This rather long comment was received by private email, and it provides perspective from a server’s point of view.
Dennis, I don’t disagree with some of your points, but when all was said and done, I was annoyed with your attitude. Haha, so I forwarded it to my daughter, a server. We thought it might be fun to write our thoughts and compare notes when finished. Here are the final results! Happy reading to ya😃
Interesting read! I personally feel like tipping is a gift and it irks me that servers are expected to claim what I have gifted. While I agree with some of your arguments, I am most interested in what you might consider a reasonable, living wage for those in the service industry. How many people make a career out of serving long-term? Would more or less people choose it as a career if your approach were adopted? My best guess, less. What kind of compensation does a server receive for working the odd hours required of one? What kind of compensation might a server receive for being treated less than? What kind of compensation for the physical nature of the job, so often overlooked? What kind of compensation for how active your mind has to be while serving? Have you ever served tables, Dennis? The vast majority of people I know who have or who I once served along side, did so temporarily. Most often, young folk who are working towards bigger things. I know so many people who have served and moved on now. If asked, almost all of them will tell you it’s the hardest job they’ve ever experienced. Most of them will credit their serving experience for giving them a work ethic they didn’t receive with their earned degrees and most will tell you that they learned so much as a server that they believe it should be mandatory that everyone do it, at least once in their lives. Serving tables, is so much more than meets the eye, so until a time comes when servers are paid a reasonable wage for their duties I will customer shame you for not tipping. If you don’t get joy out of tipping, that’s fine, but for now and until things in the industry change, stay home and care for yourself. If you neglect to tip your server, your server will lose money with having to tip out their kitchen staff and hostesses. Lastly, I don’t think I’ve ever been served by anyone that I might view as an “entitled beggar” and I can’t say I worked with along side any “entitled beggars”, but I certainly served many privileged folk that worked hard to make servers feel like such.
Margaret
If you were simply wanting to pay for the food you are ordering, as you imply, restaurants would be running quite differently. You would go up to a register to order your meal, take it to an open table, eat it, throw your garbage away, and be gone…like a McDonald’s or a food court kiosk. But that isn’t what you want when you go to a restaurant; you want a service. And not only do you want a service, you expect great service…for free! Servers have the task of mentally mapping up to 10 tables at a time, deciding and prioritizing the order in which tasks between tables should be completed, making sure that all are satisfied by regularity checking in, running around like a chicken with its head cut off; all the while, serving you with a smile. It’s no job for the weak, and certainly not a job that any sane person would do on a minimum wage salary. Instead of picking on the struggling restaurant, perhaps a better solution would be to add a mandatory gratuity to bills to pay for this — currently free — service. And let’s not forget, there is ZERO obligation to tip and no actual social ridicule to be subjected to, if you choose not to. Unless you are one of those “cheap bastards” (a phrase mentioned 5 times, even though I’m willing to bet you have never been called such) who decides to announce to their server “by the way, I don’t tip” in a self righteous manner; maybe then, the wait staff will complain about the pretentious asshole at table 7. The funny part about all this is that (I find) the worst tippers are the most demanding customers!
— an “entitled bagger”
Hi Margaret and Emma. Thanks for the comments. Let me try to address some of them.
First of all, I don’t have much of a bone to pick with wait staff, and I agree with your comments about how difficult that job is. And, in fact, a great deal of what
I object to is the presumption in the restaurant business that it’s ok not to pay your servers a decent wage. Really, the owner is downloading his obligation to the customer and hoping – but not ensuring- that the customer takes the hint and gives at least 18%.
I am also just irked by the uncertainty and ambiguity in the process. I don’t even mind when a restaurant says the price is X and oh by the way we’re going to add a 15% or even a 20% gratuity. I don’t quite understand why they don’t just roll that into the price of the item in the first place, but at least in that case you know what the true expectation is.
I don’t think a tip is a gift. I think it’s payment for service rendered, and the unusual thing is that it’s not paid by the employer. Contrary to a point made later in the comments, although there is zero obligation to provide a tip, there is actual social ridicule for inadequate tipping. I don’t think I’m a spectacularly good tipper, but I don’t think I’m a spectacularly bad one either. But I know people who’s tipping performance is the subject of locker room comment.
You’re right, when I go to a restaurant I expect good service. But I don’t expect that service for free. My understanding is that when I buy an item from a restaurant menu I am paying for the food, the energy that it took to cook it, and a reasonable profit for the owner, AND the cost of serving that meal to me in a way that’s consistent with the quality of the restaurant. The service is not free. It’s supposed to be included in the price. And I hate the fact that we now think it isn’t included in the price and that I get to pay for it like an à la cart menu item, and I should guess at what the service is worth.
As for my “entitled beggar” comment – yes, there are servers who believe that you are obligated to tip, and some of those servers fail to understand that there is a link between the quality of service and the size of, or even the necessity of, a tip. The comment was probably poorly worded, but the point is that the expectation that you will give a tip in all cases has been so engrained into our culture now that it no longer works as an incentive for some (by no means all) servers.
It’s probably true that there are “entitled beggars” out there, Dennis. Poor examples exist in all professions. How many times have you asked your entitled beggar why your expectations weren’t met? I only ask because I can’t recall many servers who complained about their tips or their customers at the end of the night. Talk was often lamenting over things that went wrong, be that the kitchen running behind, the host’s failure to pace the seating of tables properly or not gauging their customer’s personalities/expectations quite right. Great service depends on many factors, so often out of the server’s control. Sure, there may be the odd one, too overwhelmed or lacking the ability or experience to handle those scenarios in a satisfactory manner. Perhaps those servers are the individuals who left you the impression that they’re “entitled beggars” and I sure am relieved to hear from you that I somehow just misinterpreted your terminology as derogatory when you labelled servers that way. I’m glad you don’t “have a bone to pick” with wait-staff. I won’t spend another moment pondering the ignorance.
Tipping is optional. I don’t really understand how or why you feel such social pressure where it’s concerned. Receiving and paying your bill isn’t staged like an episode of The Price Is Right. It’s not as if you hit 15, 20, 25% on the pin pad and a screen displays your pick for the whole restaurant to see. There is zero consequence to a patron for bypassing the tip option altogether.
Sorry Dennis, I did laugh out loud at the thought of people’s tipping performance being the subject of locker room comment. I assume that’s where the social-ridicule you speak of played out. How so? Actual mockery or just differing opinions? Hopefully no name-calling.
Our province is moving steadily toward a minimum wage of $15.00 while a “living wage” is somewhere around $19.00. As a country, we are likely pretty reluctant to pull people up to a decent standard of living. Higher prices with no tips sounds fine to me, but will the staff get the wage they need? I will balk at a 20% tip.
Since I started this email string, I’ve almost come to the conclusion that we need to consider increasing the minimum wage (say to $20) and link that to legislation/regulation the imposes fines for accepting tips. Or maybe provides some concrete reward to the business owner in approved categories (restaurants, bars, barber shops, delivery services) who actively curtails tipping. Anyway, I agree with you – 20% tip feels ridiculous to me.
Hi Dennis. You are spot on that tipping has gone over the top. Not sure what the solution is but I’d rather tip well to someone who deserves it and the amount of service you get. My hairdresser gets a good tip and a Christmas present because first I like her haircut and second when I call she fits me in right away. Tim Hortons they are just doling out something at the window,, they aren’t getting much from me. Recently Debbie and I were on a cruise and we were treated so well by staff that I needed to go and give him an envelope at the end of the cruise even though the gratuity was already paid in my original cost. But somewhere there has to be tip value for service provided and 20% is too high especially if your meal cost $80:or more. Guess I’m a cheap bastard ha. Now my 15 year old granddaughter worked at A & W,’s this summer and she never got a tip because most people pay with a card and have no cash and her machine didn’t have a place for a tip. That’s wrong. Her older sister was working at a diner and would bring home more than her wage in tips. I can’t believe what they make for babysitting, sometimes $100 for a 5 hour night. What’s the solution. We were in Italy and in some places the tip was in the price. Or you paid a certain amount for the table. Not sure I like that either. Guess you just have to go with your gut and pay what you think it’s worth. There is a customize on most pay machines
Hi David. Thanks for the comment. I’m not sure what the answer is either. I really don’t want to object to the notion that the menu item in a restaurant costs say $30 and the menu says we add on a 15% service fee. In that model, if the restaurant is doing poorly, the server earns minimum wage, and the employer makes very little profit. However, if the restaurant does well, the employer makes a profit, and the built-in service fee act as a profit-sharing agreement for the employee. The only dubious part about that model is that it relies on the employer honestly sharing the 15% service fee with the employees.
I prefer that to the random way it’s done now. It feels like playing a hockey game where you don’t really know what the rules are, because they’ve never been written down and they’re always changing.
As a tax preparer, I have seen wait staff claim tips at up to 3 times their T4 – then ones at the same establishment who claim 10% of their T4 as tips. Is one better than the other or is one being honest? No one tips me for the job I do. My employer pays me accordingly and so should restaurants pay their staff. I was a waitress once – lasted 2 days. Couldn’t do it. No one in any of these comments is saying wait staff aren’t worth more money, they are saying it is an employer’s job to compensate their staff accordingly and then charge the consumer for the actual cost of the meal. And this tipping thing is spreading exponentially across all service sectors. Does that not further give an employer justification not to pay a proper wage to their staff?
Thanks for the comment. You’ve I nicely captured the hub of the argument with the comment about charging the consumer for the actual cost of the meal. and your further argument that the tipping inflation encourages the employer to be irresponsible, is nicely made as well.
Elizabeth, I agree with you and Dennis on many points. In a perfect world, if employers paid employees their worth and all earnings were taxed appropriately it would solve a lot of issues. I do imagine that the example you provided might raise some red flags and result in a few audits. Fair enough. For the many young servers I know, claiming tips can easily be done honestly. They are not career servers, rather University students, putting in a couple nights a week. For career servers it’s probably a bit more complicated. As Dennis pointed out with his “locker room” comment, peer pressure is alive and well and I imagine there’s lots of pressure not to be forthcoming with legitimate totals.
Canada could look to Australia for a solid example of what things might look like without gratuities. Employers routinely pay a great deal more than minimum wage there and are known to increase wages for weekends and holidays. I’m guessing the debate might continue for those who feel no obligation to make things fair though. Just as some will scoff at a 20% tip now, there will be people who scoff at doughnut slingers and waitstaff earning $25 – $40 an hour.
A couple of people have pointed out the Australian model. At least it illustrates that there are other models top consider and that we don’t have to be satisfied with random and unwritten rules.
In the spirit of a good tip Dennis, quit hitting your golf ball into the woods. In all seriousness , ten years ago when in Australia they did not expect tips, the waitresses earned $25/hr and were payed OT rate on Holidays . It was simple, above board and guilt free.
Thanks for the reply Derek. You’ve nicely illustrated one of the problems with a tipping culture, which is that some tips are valuable, and others aren’t worth shit.
I like the Australian model. However, as part of this discussion string, I’ve started to think that the automatic imposition of a 15% tip might be the solution. That allows the employer to pay minimum wage, but augment the employee’s pay packet in direct relationship to his volume of business. Kind of like a base salary plus bonus arrangement. Reduces the burden on the employer of overpaying when business is slow, and allows the employee to enjoy profit-sharing when business does well.
Don’t forget about the kitchen staff, who prepare your – I hope – delicious meal and are mostly paid minimum wage. There are exceptions of course, but even many high-end restaurants feature shitty working conditions: split shifts if the restaurant does breakfast and lunch, late close, high stress and often misogynist and/or abusive chefs. And though I would never suggest it is entirely because of the workplace, i dont doubt that the workplace does contribute to a lot of the substance abuse my daughter saw in her fellow kitchen staff.
If the service is excellent but the food is awful, you’re not likely to go back to that restaurant. Some restaurants do have a tip-sharing protocol in place so that the front of house staff split a portion (maybe 5%) of the day’s tips with the kitchen. And this only usually applies to tips given by credit/debit cards. The server can usually keep cash tips. But from my daughter’s experience as a better-than-most cook, the kitchen staff are also vastly underpaid for what they do.
My vote: living wages for all.
You know I certainly didn’t mean to indicate, as some seem to feel I did, that restaurant jobs weren’t worthy of adequate compensation. I don’t think I want to do one of those jobs. I just think that the compensation shouldn’t be driven by a random process with no clearly articulated rules. I agree – living wages for all.
Dennis, I believe you when you say it was never your intent to make people feel that you don’t value their roles. I don’t think anyone misinterpreted your write up. I think people are trying to let you know that you lose a portion of your audience when it comes across, as though, you don’t care about the very people your suggested changes effect. Intended or not, certain word choices may have left people with negative feelings. Hence, people share their experiences with you. Imagine this! A table of 4 lawyers walk into the restaurant you work at. They instantly let you know they’re lawyers. Why? As the night progresses, one lawyer pipes up “it’s too bad they make you wear those golf shirts. Something more low cut would be more interesting to me”, the rest of the men erupt in laughter and another offers, “there are buttons.” Now, I think we all realize that not all lawyers behave that way, but why wouldn’t you want to hear about experiences like that? Shouldn’t experiences be taken into consideration while negotiating a fair wage to replace the current tipping culture? I’m for fair wages. The question, in response to your write up, from the very start was, what is a fair wage? Who has the right to set the standard? Wait staff seemed your primary example, but the question exists for the many different roles mentioned. I don’t feel like I can comment on a fair wage for gas attendants. I don’t have a clue how many hours it takes to thaw after an 8 hour shift in -40 temps, but I do care to hear about people’s experiences before commenting on what I believe a fair wage might be.
And I hate that story about Daddy in the restaurant. He was not really an inherently cheap bastard but that was a particularly embarrassing display of his often embarrassing public behavior.
Yes, I meant the story as an illustration of the culture shock that tipping represented for people like our Dad. I imagine that for a father of 13 the growing expectation that he would voluntarily spend more than he really had to must have been difficult.
I received this comment by private email:
Good morning Dennis! Just finished reading your article on tipping and the responses. The situation is even worse than you think!! Apparently, you are supposed to tip just about everybody. The most outrageous one that I have heard is that you should tip your hygienest when you get your teeth cleaned!! I would like to know where I am supposed to get all of the extra money from to tip these people!! I must spend some time try to figure what I could do so that people start tipping me!!
And don’t even get me started on charities!!!!!!!
Margot
Margot’s comment speaks to that issue of the difficulty of knowing what’s expected, and on what basis. Tipping the dental hygienist? Where the hell did that come from?