I like watching sports on TV, and I do it a lot. But although I love my sports shows, there are a number of things that irritate me.
Mostly when I write my articles, I spend a fair bit of time on them doing enough research to feel I can justify why I adopted whatever position I’ve taken. This article isn’t like that. It’s just a bitch list. You may find things you agree with or things you disagree with and because it’s about likes and dislikes, there’s no real right answer. Here are some of the things that I don’t much care for.
I started thinking about this topic a little while ago when someone scored a hat-trick. (That’s a hockey thing, for those who didn’t recognize that already.) Of course, the game was then held up for five minutes while arena staff collected the hats that all the “look at me” idiots threw on the ice. And what made it really annoying was that this was an open net goal in the last minute. I know that open net goals are important. They can relieve a lot of pressure. But they are generally not works of art worthy of a big celebration.
What’s wrong with throwing your hat on the ice? Well, in the first place, a goal should be a momentum builder for the team that scored. But when fans – mostly home team fans – throw their hats on the ice, they give the visiting team an opportunity to rest key players & re-group. So, the shower of hats, meant to be a joyous celebration for the home team, is really something of a buzz kill, isn’t it?
Furthermore, it’s expensive and wasteful. If I send my kid (ok, grand-kid) to a game and he comes home without his $35 cap because he donated it to a $10M player who doesn’t want it, I’m gonna kick his ass.
Third, it’s boring. Can anyone honestly tell me that they enjoy watching hats floating down from the stands? I didn’t think so.
Patrons should be advised that they will be ejected if they throw anything on the ice – beer cans, octopi, hats, whatever. It makes no difference to me. You’re a friggin’ spectator. Throwing something on the ice so that you feel like part of the action doesn’t make you cool. Just sit there on your fat ass and act like the spectator you are.
You know what else can bug me in a hockey game? The shoot-out. The shoot-out was exciting for about three months while it was still something new, and then it lost its appeal for me. I’d rather see another five minutes of 3 on 3 OT. I recognize that there are pressures to finish the game so that teams can catch the plane for their next destination, and networks can move on to whatever else advertisers are paying for, so I don’t expect the shootout to disappear. But please God or Gary Bettman, can we do something about the painfully slow approach to the net? I could go grab a snack while some of these guys are showing off their stickhandling. Sure, you’re very, very deft with your puck-handling, but you know what else you are? You’re boring. Shoot already! I have a cure for this one, and it’s a timer. I think five seconds is plenty of time after the shooter first touches the puck in which a player should be able to approach the goal select a target and go for it. The right number might be 4 seconds, or 6 seconds. But for sure, ten seconds is way too long. And if the timer runs out, your turn is over. Next shooter please!
One more for hockey and then I’ll move on. I hate the “code” that says it’s not just acceptable, but expected, that you will punch your opponent in the face when he executes a good clean legal body check. I don’t believe that it has always been thus. I think back in the day if you got creamed on the ice, your teammates picked you up, dusted you off and told you to keep your friggin’ head up….unless you were Bobby Orr and Pat Quinn was on the ice. So, when did it become an expectation that the body check was a felony? Have some pride, for pity’s sake. Do it the old-fashioned way – take a number and look for an opportunity to goon him when the ref’s not looking.
Here’s a generic one and I think it applies to each and every team sport. Abolish all-star games. The game presented for your enjoyment on All-Star Game day bears no resemblance to the game you enjoy as a true fan. John Scott was the MVP of the 2016 NHL all-start game after being recalled from the minors just days before the game. Need I say more? The only player in the last 50 years who played an all-star game like it mattered was that phenomenal egotist known as Charlie Hustle who took the opportunity to destroy Ray Fosse’s career with a collision at home plate in 1970. In an all-star game! I hope Pete Rose never ever gets a vote for the Hall of Fame, no matter how much his stats say he deserves to be there.
And if all-star games are stupid because the game bears no real resemblance to the actual thing, skills competitions are even worse. The Home Run Derby is just such a waste of time. It probably says more for the underpaid pitching coach who’s grooving them right into the batter’s sweet spot than it does for the steroid junkie swinging the bat. All Star games in general and skills competitions in particular are really just a great opportunity for announcers and color commentators to use their thesauruses to find new and interesting ways to say “impressive”, and not much more.
Giving the players a five to seven day break in the schedule in mid-season is probably a good idea. But there’s no real need to play a weak imitation of a hockey/baseball/basketball/football game. Just announce an all-star team at the end of the year when all the results are in and note that selection on their player’s card.
Basketball. Full disclosure – I am not a basketball fan to start with. I’ve been to two b-ball games live, and it seems to me that any time the game started to get exciting, there was a lengthy stoppage. And of course, I cannot take seriously a game in which a margin of two points in a total of 240 points is somehow deemed to be meaningful. “Man, we really beat ‘em tonight. We had 0.78% more points than they did.” I think if they start all basketball games at 100 to 100 with two minutes left on the clock, they’ll still manage to spin that out enough to fill a half hour show.
But other than my general dislike of the game there are two or three aspects that stand out for me. First is that I don’t understand what a foul is in the NBA. That, by itself, is OK. But the sad truth is that as far as I can tell, neither do the NBA officials.
Second, I dislike the trash-talking, self-promoting ghetto culture that goes with basketball. Some guy scores in the paint and has to come out pumping his biceps. That happens in the NHL when you’ve survived a fight, not when you had a mid-air collision with another player’s pinky. And I dislike the expectation that your job is not to score, but to score in an oooh-ahh fashion. I love it when a player on a clear breakaway fails to perform a simple and effective lay-up, but goes for the monster dunk instead, and misses.
In all sports, I am not a big fan of the “cele”. A hockey player raising arm or stick when the puck goes in the net, or the football player spiking the ball when he scores a touchdown – those are OK with me. The pitcher who pumps his arm on an important strikeout – no problem. Even Bautista’s bat-flip was fine with me. Those are relatively spontaneous celebrations and add emotion to the game. But football players who rehearse a celebration before the game? Give me a break. We’re soon going to have Celebration Choreographer doing interpretative dance as an essential part of the coaching staff.
The big thing in football now is to back-flip into the end-zone. Most of those clowns don’t know how to do a back-flip and fail to plant the landing anyway. If I were head coach or owner of a bunch of multi-million dollar players I would tell them that if you manage to injure yourself doing something stupid like back-flipping your way into the end-zone, your next pay-check will reflect your IQ.
And in the line of celebrations, I hate it when the player turns to the stands and makes gestures to beg for applause. Yes, even some of my favourite Leafs do this, and I wish they wouldn’t. If what you did was worthy of applause, you’ll get it. If it was rather ho-hum, perhaps you won’t. But if you beg for applause and get it, does that tell you that the fans appreciated what you did? Or does it tell you that you’re a good begger? Have some pride, and act like you’ve been there before. Do you suppose Gordie Howe ever begged for applause?
Here’s the flip side of begging for applause. When the fans give a nice round of applause, the player should acknowledge that, and show that it’s appreciated. The example that I see most often is the baseball pitcher who gets removed after a strong performance and walks off the mound, and the crowd cheers. Sometimes, even a visiting team pitcher will get a good round of applause because baseball fans are civilized and knowledgeable people. And what does the pitcher do? Mostly nothing. Would it be too much to expect that he could raise his cap, look into the stands, make eye contact with one or two people and look like he appreciates your support?
Golf – yes even golf can be improved. The thing that bugs me on golf broadcasts is watching golfers play the 18th hole three or four times in succession in a playoff. I think it’s wrong for the spectator because we’d like a change of scenery. But more to the point, any one hole might favour one golfer over the other. Some holes work for the long hitter, some for the guy who works the ball left to right, and some favour a right to left ball pattern. So, by all means, start the playoff on the 18th and hope it’s over early. But if that doesn’t work, go back to the 16th and work in from there. Maybe then the guy who is less favored by the layout of the 18th will find that on the 16th or 17th the hole favours his skill set. It would be fairer for the golfers and it would provide more variety for the viewer.
Finally, and I’ve made this point before, I don’t like sports gambling ads, and I don’t like the focus on gambling odds for game results and prop bets. Gambling is a sickness, and some people are going to get badly hurt with this new emphasis on gambling. More than that though, gambling is going to affect the purity of sport. Where gambling lives, corruption will inevitably follow and I hate seeing the sports industry opening themselves up to the possibility of corruption.
Which of my pet peeves struck a chord with you? Which ones made you label me as a grumpy old fart? Which peeves of yours did I miss altogether? Comments are always appreciated.
17 responses to “Sport Irritations”
The advertising of gambling on sports shows should be banned. Doug Ford should be banned. Cheers to Sid ad Nathan for promoting Tim Hortons hockey cards, eternal boos to Gretsky and McDavid for promoting gambling and selling it teenage boys. Makes you wonder if they are doing it themselves ( yes, Sid and Nathan may be drinking coffeee and collecting cards).
Kevin suggests that I should have led with gambling, and perhaps he’s correct. However, it was the hat trick thing that really initiated the idea of writing an article like this.
Surprised gambling ads came at the end, it’s top of the list for me
I started with hats because that was what prompted me to write. Also, I’d already written an article about the gambling.
I agree with everything you said, especially about ads for sports betting Guys like Gretzky who are cashing in should be ashamed of themselves! If they are so hard up they could do crowd-funding; some fans would donate and begging is better than shilling for sports betting.
The next item on my list is the choreographed victory celebrations. Apart from looking like idiots, these guys are demonstrating an appalling lack of sportsmanship.
So Dennis, keep on bitchin’. Somebody has to say it. Saving the Great One from himself is a worthy aim, although probably too late.
Gretzky ought to know the harms of gambling – his son in law has the bug.
Dennis, I think you’ve touched a nerve! A few random thoughts. Sportsmanship? Taunting and self-aggrandizement are the cultural norms of the current sports culture, just as being undemonstrative was the code of the West in our youth. I don’t like the current fad but I do acknowledge that sport egos also lurked behind the non-demonstration code of the distant past. [But, really, to celebrate a tackle or getting a first down as if you’d just personally won the Super Bowl. . . .] As for the gambling, major scandals are on their way. The players MAY now make too much money to be worth corrupting, but the officials don’t, and since people bet on EVERYTHING from point spreads to how long the national anthem will take, there’s lots of room for manipulation. What’s as bad as the gambling itself, gambling ads dominate the commercials on sports news — but also, increasingly, the shows’ content: the analysis and the built-in segments. The odds are UBIQUITOUS and they are aimed at the young, who will grow up with this normalization of the idea that sports isn’t worth watching if you don’t have a bet on the match. Everyone in the business seems to have been co-opted. By the way, I notice McDavid recently on an ad encouraging responsible gambling, sponsored by, I think, a gambling website. It’s like saying, “just kidding” after vicously attacking someone verbally.
Thanks for the comment Ed. In an earlier article on gambling, I made the point that the “responsible gaming” ads are pretty hypocritical. If you ask what the bottom line messages of those ads are it is that you can gamble safely with my Sportsbook. “Don’t worry about the risks and dangers of gambling, we’ll look after you. Come and bet with us. It’ll be OK.” It’s kind of a “greenwashing” for the promotion of gambling. The only problem is that the green they’re washing themselves and is the colour of your money.
Well I don’t get as worked up about sports as you. I abhor the fact about gamblers in sports and it’s too easy with the internet. My big concern is that there is no respect for player safety. Much stiffer penalties need to be handed out. Example somebody blindsided after an empty net goal. If you have a problem better to challenge him to a fight then doing a cowardly act like sucker hitting him. Wilson’s stick at the leaf player the other night was awful. As far as shootouts go, what’s wrong with a tie?
You had to go and pick on poor Morgan Reilly, didn’t you? Damn!
The 3 point shot has ruined basketball, there is no more drive to the next, boxing out players fighting for position or 3 second in the key or whatever it was. Instead they drive halfway to the net, stop turn around and pass to the three point player. This has ruined the game in my opinion
Thanks for the comment Larry. The good thing about this post is that there’s no right or wrong. I should pass your comment on to Doug Maas who, unlike me, seems to care about basketball. To the extent that I do watch b-ball, I think Stef Curry is pretty cool.
This comment was offered in response to the comment from Larry Richard:
First I have to preface these comments with “I have had a couple of glasses of wine so I may wander off topic a bit”.
At first glance I would say you have a point. However, don’t forget that Magic, Bird and Jordan played their entire careers during the 3 point era and I would argue that their teams produced some of the most exciting and entertaining basketball I have ever watched as they capitalized on the slightly stretched defence resulting from the advent of the 3 point shot. Remember prior to the 3 point shot the game was turning into putting the biggest, strongest guys you could find on the floor and let them plod like clydesdales to the basket. This wasn’t all that appealing.
As we all know owning and managing sports teams these days often comes down to numbers. I would say that the latest craze in the increasing number of 3 pointers was spawned by the success of Golden State and specifically their use of the 3 point shot. This team had 3 exceptional 3 point shooters in Curry, Thompson and Green, who all hit their prime at about the same time. This has never happened before and is unlikely to happen again because of numbers ($s and salary cap).
In their rush for success almost the entire league followed the Golden State recipe and started jacking 3’s and we have what we see today which so far has not manifested in championships or even more regular season wins. Total team shooting percentage and defensive rebounds I believe are still the biggest precursors to winning – especially in the playoffs.
I am taking a little longer view and believe that the pendulum will slow down and may even swing back a little in the number of 3 point shots being taken. The reason once again is numbers. If you shoot less than 32% from behind the arc then you would be better off shooting inside the arc. New data that now includes the percentage of time that foul shots result and are made from shots taken inside the arc to shots taken outside the arc show that the value of 2 point shots are now higher than 3 point shots if you are shooting less than 32% from behind the arc. Once the NBA teams owners and management really grasp this and see that they haven’t succeeded in replicating the Warriors then I think we will see a more balanced approach in shots that we generally see already come playoff time.
Going back to what I consider the golden age of NBA basketball – the Magic, Bird and then Jordan era what was different at that time then now? I would suggest that the league marketed its superstars differently. There wasn’t such a singular focus on just the number of points scored. They marketed the passing and defencive skills of the players. Great passes and steals that led to a quick fast break were replayed over and over – not just the long 3 point shot. If you check youtube videos of Magic and Bird you will see some absolutely incredible passing. Don’t see much of those today. Also, the league made a big deal of marketing the rivalries. Was there any bigger rivalry than Magic and Bird in the finals? It was edge of the seat stuff watching a final series with those two going head to head. Who could make the best pass or dive for a steal or execute a perfect cross over and pull up jumper?
In summary I think that we are in a phase right now that will correct when owners and management realize the numbers say something else is needed to win and like most things in life moderation is the answer.
I agree with many of the things you say. Firstly that you are a grumpy old fart. Just kidding. I will put sports gambling not just the advertising of it as number 1. I am also on board for getting rid of all star games. I strongly disagree on your views on basketball. I have become a convert and will often watch basketball ahead of hockey. The three point shot has saved the game. The three point shot has made the come from behind victory a possibility. Before the existence of the three point shot there were few changes in the game leaders. It was two points at one end followed by two points at the other with the result often determined by who got foul calls. Now with the three point shot the result of the game is not determined by the first quarter and the two point difference at the end of the game is a measure of a contest well fought! I am dismayed by the Raptors season this year but as a long time Leaf fan, I always hold out hope for the future.
PS You didn’t mention how boring it is to watch a soccer game ending at 1-0.
Thanks for the comments Kate. Almost everyone that I talk to is sick of sports gambling. It’s funny that it hangs on.
I had an interesting conversation with one of my friends about the three-point shot. His view was that the floor had become too crowded, in the scoring zone, too small prior to the three-point shot. But now, with a dramatic increase in three-point specialists, he feels that it’s almost becoming too open. It is, in his opinion, battle to achieve balance between tough physical, low scoring and wide open shoot everything play.
No, I can’t tell you anything about how boring soccer is, because I can’t watch that game. It is like hockey and slow motion. You can see the plays forming up, but I can go get a snack, while the balls going across the field. Soccer was great to watch when my kids were playing, but on TV, it’s a disaster, so I just don’t watch it.
Obviously, you don’t understand basketball- the best sport out there, and a Canadian invention!!!!
Basketball is the best sport out there? Are you kidding me? I can think of at least six sports that I would rather watch than basketball. Hockey, baseball, football, curling, tennis, and any sort of track and field event are better than to watch than basketball. I can’t think of any team sport played at the professional level in which teamwork seems to be less essential than in basketball. Of course, I accept that I am hardly an expert, because basketball is such a dismal viewing experience that I never watch it.
I do accept, however, that I would rather watch basketball, than watch figure skating or synchronize swimming.